Yo dont text me then not text me
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
