Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
