Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
