What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
