Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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