I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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