As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
