I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
