its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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