I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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