I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
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