I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
