To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
