Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Randomize