My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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