'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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