My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
