i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
