real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize