don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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