apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
