You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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