dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
