I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Found your dick twin last night
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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