What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
