We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My pussy is not your playground.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
