It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
