smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
