if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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