I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
