I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You left your phone here
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