just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
