Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
