I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
