So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
