i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
