Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
