shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
