just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
