You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
