I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
