dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
