Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
