Cold hands, warm shart.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Your cock deserves a montage
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
