Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
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Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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