He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
