It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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