Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she was so not down for the gang bang
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
