Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
