lets start a swedish sibling band together
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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