dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
