my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
